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Lessons from loves past

April 11, 2014

I have to share what inspired this post was receiving a Facebook message from an ex-boyfriend asking for career advice. We were friends all through high school and dated for my last 3 years of college. Apparently he is contemplating going back to school to get an English degree and thought of me to ask if that was a smart choice. Random to say the least. This out of the blue message got me to thinking about the lessons I have learned through my dating history. I like to think I'm much wiser now as a married woman than my younger single self that was navigating through the dating world. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.

Red flags are not meant to be ignored.

You see them coming towards you all shiny and bright, but those damn sparks just have you turn your head and continue on your way. I learned this lesson the hard way my first year of teaching when I met a cute fellow brand new teacher who seemed perfect for me. The great chemistry between us made it oh so easy to look past the big red flag, he had just gotten divorced at 25. That was a red flag the size of Montana that obviously should have made me think. 9 months later it was no surprise when he dumped me saying he needed time to be on his own.

Timing is everything.

Timing. Such a clique because it is true. A relationship will not work if both people are not on the same life page. Both people have to be wanting the same things out of their life. If a guy isn't ready to commit and you are looking at weddings on Pinterest, it might not work out.

Don't compromise so much that you end up resenting your significant other. 

I like to call this the "Lauren chooses Jason over Paris" syndrome. It happened to Lauren Conrad just like it happens to many young women in their 20's. I did something similar at 19 when transferring colleges in the name of love. It was fine for a little while until the resentment of giving up so much started to seep in and ultimately poisoned our relationship. This might be the biggest lesson learned out of all my previous relationships.


  1. very well said :) thanks for sharing!

  2. All really great lessons learned! I learned a lot from my previous two relationships as well. My first relationship lasted way longer then it should have but instead of seeing it as a waste of years I tried to look at is a learning experience. It made me that much better when the real Mr. Right finally came along.