This particular weakness of mine has become more apparent in the last few weeks. The house has been put on the market, we have made the decision (over many long talks) that leaving our home state is what is best for T's career goals, and now we just wait. The waiting is the hardest part. Once we decided on everything something shifted mentally for me. It was almost as if I was in the middle of reading a chapter in a book but couldn't resist skipping over to the subsequent chapter. Instead of soaking in what could possibly be my last few months of living in Florida, I find myself rushing to get to the next part. Slipping into daydreams of what this new phase of my life could bring is so much easier than existing fully in the now. But the problem with this way of thinking is that I am missing out on the beauty of my life right now.
Yes, the stressful, uncertain, in limbo present that is my life at this point has its own beauty. A beauty that is easy to ignore and won't come back. So I'm going to try to learn how to be still in the moment.
Limbo is very scary and hurry up and wait is hard. I can understand the desire to want to get onto the next thing but you are so right! You have to live in the now and not be so busy jumping ahead that you can't enjoy today and are overwhelmed with stress. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself.
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