The reality of wedding planning

For some reason the movies and t.v. paint the picture of wedding planning to be a sea of picture perfect moments, but I'm quickly learning that the reality is very different. What started out as a small destination wedding in our favorite place (Key West) has now morphed to a 75 people local wedding in 4 months (eek). As progressive as my future husband is, the bulk of the planning of this wedding falls on my lap.

(This is my awesome reception room!)        

 Now the major components of the wedding have already been selected- venue, photographer, caterers (come with the venue), DJ (I have a female DJ and I knew she was the one when she said that she agrees with me adding all line dances on my do not play list)- I wanted to use the massive amounts of free time I get during the summer to work on some of the smaller things that need to get done before November 10. I figured it would be easier this way than try to squeeze everything to the last minute when I'm smack dab in one of the busiest parts of the school year.  I am finding some parts of the planning to be quite fun, like choosing the music for the ceremony and reception, for example. One of the perks of not getting married in a church is the ability to use modern music for the ceremony. I loved spending hours coming up with the right songs for the ceremony that showed our personalities and music taste. Sneak peek- we are walking out to All You Need is Love by The Beatles! Our wedding theme so to speak is our love of books. I came up with this idea early on and now I am coming to the realization that my non-DIY self might have trouble executing. Library card style escort cards sound a lot easier than all the DIY tutorial online present it to be.

What I never expected in planning my wedding was the loss of my best friend. Shortly after my engagement she was all psyched to plan my bachelorette party and sharing party ideas before my wedding date was set. I have sensed a pulling away from her starting on my 30th birthday almost a year ago and in the last 5 months she has only texted me twice. I have emailed her asking her what is wrong and if she can't be in my wedding to just let me know. But all I have heard is silence back from her. So at this point she is not part of the wedding party and I am not sure if she will even show up to the wedding of a friend of 15 years. I imagined her being part of this process, but that is not how its ending up. I can't lie and say that I haven't shed some tears over this. I have. I just remind myself that the most important thing is that at the end of all of this I am marrying my best friend and love.